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Table of Contents

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

DEDICATION

Prologue

CHAPTER 1

Chapter two

Affiliate iii

Chapter iv

Affiliate v

Chapter half dozen

Chapter vii

Chapter 8

CHAPTER nine

Affiliate 10

CHAPTER 11

Epilogue

About A.L. Brooks

Other Books from Ylva Publishing

Nights of Silk and Sapphire

Heart's Give up

Don't Exist Shy (Vol one & 2)

Hot Line

Coming from Ylva Publishing

Just My Luck

Grounded

The Club

by A.L. Brooks

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

Firstly, I want to thank those wonderful women at Ylva for seeing something in my writing they wanted to publish—you made a daughter's dreams come true!

I specially desire to thank Astrid Ohletz for offering me this risk, Gill McKnight for her amazing project direction, Gill and Jove Belle for editing the volume to within an inch of its life, and Andrea Bramhall for her fantastic support and encouragement from kickoff to finish.

Side by side, my beta readers—you lot know who you are—who gave me valuable feedback and also immense encouragement on this, my first novel.

Thirdly, all my wonderful friends and colleagues for being so excited nearly this on my behalf and never letting me forget that this is a pretty amazing matter to exist doing. Though, allow'southward exist honest, it's not likely I'd forget in a hurry anyway.

And lastly—you, whoever y'all are, holding this in your hands right now. Cheers for reading, I sincerely hope y'all enjoy…

DEDICATION

For Y&T—you know why

Prologue

Brixton, 1993

Mandy grinned as Laura pushed open the cubicle door and pulled her inside. The main door to the toilets swung close behind them, muffling the thump of the music coming from upstairs in the main room. The rave was in total swing, the trip the light fantastic floor jumping with the movements of hundreds of people all sweating out a skilful time.

Laura slammed the cubicle door shut behind them, and Mandy pressed up close confronting her in the confined infinite. She reached for Laura every bit she pushed the bolt across. Laura turned, and instantly her tongue was in Mandy's oral fissure, hands pushing inside her tee shirt. She cupped the bare breasts, squeezed, and and so groaned as Mandy's nipples hardened under her palms. Mandy pushed upwards into her, breathing raggedly through her rima oris. The air around them stank; the toilets hither were non platonic, merely sometimes in that location was no other option. When the demand took her, equally it had fifteen minutes ago when she and Laura had met in the middle of the trip the light fantastic floor, she fabricated do with what was bachelor.

Mandy had noticed Laura some fourth dimension before they'd started dancing. Her bleached-blonde hair, cropped nice and short, smoking hot trunk, and those vivid green optics that sparkled under the club lights… She was breathtaking. Mandy hadn't been able to look away. The estrus between them had been instant and intense, and when Laura had bent to Mandy's ear and offered her a quick fuck with no questions asked, Mandy hadn't hesitated.

Just as Laura'south fingers started to pop the buttons on Mandy's faded Levi's, the outer door opened again. Two women entered, chatting to one another. Laura didn't break, and Mandy ignored them in favour of concentrating on Laura's fingers as they worked their mode into her underwear. Laura ran her paw through the wetness of Mandy'due south pussy and rammed two fingers straight into her cunt. Letting out a loud groan of satisfaction, Mandy threw her head dorsum. It thumped confronting the cubicle wall, and she giggled at the sound.

"Yeah, you like that?" asked Laura, her optics darkening to a deep jade color.

Mandy panted. "Fuck, yep."

"Oh shit, are y'all fucking kidding me?" a woman said, followed by her hitting the partition, making the wall of the cubicle shake. "Hey, fucking carpet munchers, take information technology someplace else!"

Laura'southward fingers stopped mid-thrust, and she and Mandy looked at each other, grinning. And then Laura moved again, and Mandy groaned over again.

The woman hit the door, twice.

"I'm fucking serious, lezzas! Get the fuck outta there. Some of us need to piss!" The woman was angry.

Mandy twitched slightly. This might get nasty. Laura stopped moving and met her gaze. Her eyes held the same hint of the dubiousness Mandy was feeling.

"Jesus, are you serious? Are they fucking in there?" The 2d woman sounded younger and considerably more amused than the offset.

"Yes," snarled the first adult female and followed up with a kick to the door.

"Shit," murmured Mandy, and Laura nodded slightly. She pulled her fingers out of Mandy, and Mandy did up her fly.

"Lamentable," whispered Laura, shaking her head.

"It's okay; no point putting ourselves at run a risk. Sometimes you get away with it, sometimes not." Mandy shrugged and planted a osculation on Laura'south lips before she shifted to give Laura room to slide the commodities dorsum.

They shimmied around the door in the enclosed infinite and met the glare of the aroused young woman. She was tall, too thin, and wore her blonde pilus pulled dorsum in a tight ponytail. Her neck was covered in tattoos, and her confront twisted in hate.

"About fucking time. Disgusting cunts."

"Oi, no need for that!" snarled Laura. "We're going, all right?"

"Fuck off, lezza bitch."

"Hey, get over it!" snapped Mandy as she pushed by the adult female with Laura right behind her.

"Don't know why you don't only stay in your own clubs. Stop bringing your fucking queer shit to our places."

Mandy turned back to the woman. Laura carried on walking, calling over her shoulder, "Get out information technology; she's not worth it."

Mandy looked the woman up and downwards. "Yeah, you're correct," she said with a sneer. As she turned to leave, the adult female slapped her. Mandy saw it coming, merely not quick enough to avoid it. When information technology continued with her confront, it didn't take enough power to ship her to the floor, simply information technology however rocked her back on her heels. Her lip stung as if cut, and a moment later, her mouth filled with the coppery tang of claret.

"Jesus!" The younger woman pulled at her friend'southward arm.

Laura grabbed Mandy and yanked her towards the door.

"Come on, plenty. Let'southward get out of here," she said firmly.

Mandy went with her, stumbling as she tried to get her brain to engage with the residual of her body. The bitch fucking slapped her! What the fuck?

She wiped the claret from her oral cavity with the back of her hand. The cut stung similar fuck. People stared as Laura led her to the cloakroom upstairs. Mandy ignored them.

"Where's your ticket?" Laura asked her. Mandy rummaged in her pockets, constitute the green stub, and handed information technology to the girl working the counter. The girl stared at Mandy's oral cavity for a moment, and Laura gave her a dirty look. She hurried to retrieve Mandy'southward bag and jacket.

Out in the absurd evening air, they walked downwards Brixton Road towards the Tube station. After a few moments, they came to a bench. Laura tugged Mandy over to it, pushed her downwards, and stood in front of her.

"You got whatever tissue to make clean that up?" She pointed at Mandy'southward lip.

All the same in a slight daze, Mandy nodded, undid her handbag, and institute a packet of travel tissues. She pulled one out and dabbed gently at her lip. Later on cleaning around the cut, she pressed the tissue against it to staunch the flow. It wasn't bleeding heavily, but information technology was annoyingly persistent.

Laura ran her easily through her brusk hair and puffed out a big sigh as she locked her hands together

behind her neck.

"Sorry," she said, looking down at Mandy.

Mandy waved i hand in the air between them. "Shit, not your fault. Y'all don't demand to apologise. It's a take chances we take in places like that."

"I know, but… Well, information technology just fucking annoys me, you know?"

"I know."

And she did know. Mandy didn't similar to accept women home to her identify—her flat was private, and she didn't desire strangers in it. Merely equally, she'd had one too many morning time-after conversations when she'd gone back to other women'due south homes. She wanted her sex life unproblematic, no strings. The merely way she'd found that worked was random encounters such as the 1 she'd been in the middle of with Laura, quick and hard in some secluded role of a club. Unfortunately, virtually times that meant mixed clubs, every bit there just weren't enough lesbian ones available, even in a city every bit big equally London. Mixed meant risk. The take a chance of existence found, of being verbally abused, of being thrown out, or—as she'd discovered tonight—worse.

"Look, are y'all okay to get domicile?" Laura dropped her artillery to her sides and shuffled on the spot, clearly neat to go going. Mandy couldn't blame her.

"Yeah, I'm fine. You take off."

"Look after yourself," said Laura.

"You likewise. See you around."

Laura turned and marched off, tucking her caput down into the collar of her jacket.

Mandy shivered and pulled her own jacket tighter around her body against the wind that knifed upwards the road. She didn't blame Laura for disappearing, but it did rankle a bit. Left on her own in the middle of Brixton with a bleeding face wasn't exactly her idea of a great nighttime out. Only then, what did she expect? She and Laura had only shared first names and about 5 minutes of interrupted intimacy. She wasn't pretending it was something information technology wasn't.

She pulled the tissue away from her lip and then patted the cut tenderly with a fingertip. The claret seemed to take stopped, thankfully. She dipped into her bag once again and plant the picayune tube of lip salve she e'er carried around with her. Using her fingertip, she gently covered the cut with the soothing lotion and then blimp it, along with the tissues, back in her pocketbook.

She stood upwards, took a deep breath, and started for home. And then much for an easy, fun Sat night out. She was fed up with this—too many nights ended in disappointment these days. She was thirty-two, style also old to be slapped down past some stupid bitch in a toilet.

She needed a change of scenery.

Affiliate 1

Manchester, present mean solar day

Kath held the steaming hot mug carefully in one hand as she flicked off the main kitchen light. Past the soft light of the under-cupboard spotlights, she made her style out of the room and downwards the hall.

"Mum, I've got your cocoa," she called and nudged open the door to her mother's bedroom. She stepped into the warm room. The bedside lamp was on, casting its muted low-cal in a small pool that left near of the room in darkness. At first it looked equally though her mum was sleeping upright, but she was simply gazing off into space, optics unfocused. Kath put the mug on the bedside table. Her mum slowly turned towards her.

"Is that you, Kath?" Her voice was tremulous every bit she clearly struggled to focus in on Kath'southward face up in front of her.

"Yep, Mum, it's me. Got your cocoa," she repeated; sometimes it took two or three goes for things to register.

Her mum managed a weak grinning. "Oh, you are a love," she whispered and tried, unsuccessfully, to push herself a fiddling more upright.

"Hither, let me." Kath kept her vocalization light and cheery. She slipped her artillery around her mum and gently pulled her upward. Before resting her back against the headboard, she made certain the pillow ran dead middle down her spine.

"Thanks, dear," her mum whispered again.

Kath swallowed hard. Sometimes information technology actually was only too much. The pain of seeing her mum like this and the energy Kath expended on caring for her… All of it threatened to overwhelm her. But what was she to practise? Intendance for her mum fell to her every bit her brother refused to help.

"We should put her in a home," he'd said. "It's also much for you to accept on, and frankly, I don't accept the time to merely driblet everything when you lot can't cope. I have a married woman and kids. It's not off-white to them. It was your decision to take her in, your conclusion to leave the professionals out of this." His words, delivered in his usual clipped tones, rattled effectually her brain, their abrupt edges catching her like needles. There was a lot right in what he had said. Simply the idea of her mum going into intendance was far too upsetting for Kath.

Her mum sighed and reached for the cocoa. Kath intercepted her.

"I've got it, Mum," she said brightly. She held the mug shut to her mum's lips, letting her come up forrard slightly to sip, trusting she still had enough awareness not to gulp the hot drink also quickly.

Later, after her mum had gone to sleep, Kath tucked her in, switched on the night light, and left the room. She leaned against the wall outside for a moment and breathed securely. Today had been a long one. She rubbed at the back of her cervix, trying to ease out some of the tension that seemed permanently knotted in that location these days. She rolled her shoulders, pushed herself away from the wall, and walked down the hallway to the kitchen. As she passed the table, she picked up her fags.

She stepped out of the dorsum door into the cool May air and plopped herself downwardly on i of the plastic patio chairs. She lit her cigarette, inhaled, and let the smoke trickle gently out of her nostrils as she gazed up at the night heaven. It had been a cute spring solar day that had left a pink tinge on the horizon with the streaks of cloud stretched similar layers of a creamy block across the sky. It was about perfect, and sitting out here, experiencing information technology alone, made her heart clench simply a petty.

Peradventure she should phone call Julie, talk a bit more well-nigh their plans for tomorrow. At the thought of Julie, she smiled. Julie, with the long blackness hair that draped so seductively over Kath's face up equally she straddled her, riding out her orgasm as she thrust down hard on Kath's fingers. Julie, who didn't actually understand Kath'south home arrangements and didn't empathise why Kath couldn't come running every time she called.

She stubbed out her fag in the overflowing ashtray and walked back within for a cold beer. She popped the cap and strolled into the living room. Her phone was on the sofa, correct where she'd left it earlier. Glancing at the screen, she noticed 1 missed call and a voicemail. She checked the missed call—Julie. As she listened to the message, the sound of Julie's vocalization made her smile. Then, as she took in the words, her smiling faded. Key phrases zapped into her ears and ricocheted around her mind.

I need to end this.

Too difficult to find time to be together.

Constitute someone more reliable, more committed.

Sorry to do this.

Really thought we could have had something, only I can't share y'all.

Kath hit the "cease" central and dropped the phone. She was numb. Sure, Julie had been struggling with Kath'south demand to put her mum outset, but she hadn't realised it had got this bad. Briefly, she considered calling Julie dorsum, but then she replayed the words from the voicemail in her caput. It was a lost crusade.

They had only been dating about three months, but she, also, had thought they could accept had something very good together. Just caring for Mum as she did challenged Julie'south ideas of how a relationship should commonly progress. Terminal minute cancellations. Besides many nights settled in to watch a DVD rather than out on the town every bit promised. Quick sex activity sneaked into the few gratis hours she had.

She should take acted sooner. Instead, compressed nether the weight of all she was juggling, she had hoped it would miraculously resolve itself.

Well, in a fashion, role of information technology had.

Kath exhaled, slumped back against the sofa, and took a long pull on her beer. Her blood brother'south words mixed with Julie'southward and echoed through her heed. She had some difficult choices to make.

* * *

"So," Jacky handed Kath her pint of lager, "how's the new carer working out for your

mum?"

They were in the Soldier's Arms, their favourite haunt. Jacky was Kath's closest friend; the i person she didn't have a problem confiding in. Strange, as Jacky wasn't the touchy-feely type at all. She was often thought of as all surface and no depth. Simply Kath knew differently. Jacky's stocky, butch exterior, about a mirror of Kath'southward own, independent a warm middle and a lot of love for the people closest to her.

They'd non seen each other since Jacky and Tania got married dorsum in Apr. Yet another reason why she'd re-evaluated her life, worked out her money and her priorities, and got in touch with a private habitation-care agency.

Leaning back confronting the bar, Kath took a big gulp of her beer and smacked her lips in pleasure as the absurd liquid slipped down her throat. "Smashing, actually," she said. "They're non cheap, but something had to give. So it's worth it."

"How many nights are they in?" Jacky's gravelly voice rumbled beyond the infinite between them.

"I've got them 4 evenings a week, Tuesday to Friday, seven until eleven. But couldn't afford the weekend option, as everyone wants that. Only this fashion, I at least become some fourth dimension out. I can go to the cinema or hit the bars or clubs if I want to."

Jacky nodded. "It's good that you've done it. We missed you for certain, and Tania was getting so worried virtually what it was doing to you, cooped up at home all solar day and nighttime."

"Well, it did get a petty claustrophobic, I must admit."

"See, so it worked out okay in the end. I know Julie leaving was shit, only she kind of did you a favour; didn't she?" Jacky wasn't one to mince words.

Kath nodded ruefully. "Yeah, she did. Bit of a hard lesson to learn, but hey, I'grand in that location at present, and things can merely get improve, correct?"

"Definitely. So, any hot chicks on your radar?"

Kath snorted. "Well, that's the fucking irony of information technology. Ever since I've had all this actress fourth dimension to play, I haven't plant anyone who interests me enough. Mind yous, I'm withal getting used to all this…freedom…so I'm non even sure I want anything serious anyhow."

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